Episode 13

Transcript:

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Hey, welcome to Comically Exposed.

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This is the podcast where we talk about OCD and comedy stuff.

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And my name is Gabbie Blachman and the fabulous co-host of this podcast is Heather Nye.

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And you are all better for knowing it.

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This is episode 13.

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Hopefully you heard our last episode, which was an amazing interview with Ege, our friend

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from Turkey, who's too goddamn funny for her own good, I think, was the takeaway.

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She is.

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And she was amazing on our first interview that we ever done on our podcast.

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Yeah, and shout out to you for fixing the international technical difficulties of sound

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recording and piecing back together.

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I don't know why, but it makes me think of like some kind of architectural dig where

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you found a 70 puzzle piece from 20 million years ago and now you're putting it back together

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piece by piece.

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Was that accurate?

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I do like puzzles.

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I like puzzles, too.

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Have we talked about this?

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Are you at all compulsive about puzzles?

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I don't know if it's compulsive or controlling.

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I'm not sure.

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Yeah.

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So I kind of like figuring out the order of it.

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Which makes me probably really fun to do puzzles with.

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That's what people love.

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They love somebody to come through and be like, hey, let's make this very ordered and

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organized and turn it into some kind of project.

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You're a project manager.

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Not by job, but I guess by life choices.

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Yeah, I feel like that could be a little compulsive coming in and being like, I will make order

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out of this chaos.

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I do like to sort.

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That's one of my fun things that I like to do.

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I am definitely compulsive when it comes to puzzles.

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If there is one out and I am near it, I have to be working on it.

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I am drawn to them if that's what you mean by compulsive.

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Do you find yourself up at four in the morning and everybody else has been in bed for some

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time and you are still working on said puzzle?

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Probably.

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I haven't done that in a while, but I know that when I was over at my sister's house

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and they had a puzzle out, all I could do was work on the puzzle.

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So yes, exactly.

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I can't really like, if the people are not around the puzzle and working on it, I can't

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have a conversation with them.

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Whatever else is happening, there's a fire in the kitchen or I don't know, some small

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child is drowning.

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It doesn't exist for me because the edges of the puzzle are the edges of my concentration.

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Similarly to a puzzle, I got my sister and her boyfriend a Lego set of this house.

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It was like a Christmas scene and we proceeded to open it and then just build.

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How long until you guys finished it?

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We didn't finish it because it was an enormous amount of Legos, which I didn't realize it

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was when we got it for him.

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It was a couple hours and people were like, so I'm going to go home before we realized

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we were at it for a very long time.

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A thousand percent.

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People are like, I'm hungry.

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And you're like, why?

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We ate 12 hours ago.

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The puzzle is here.

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The puzzle will sustain us.

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Yeah.

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Legos for me, I think this may have to do with my ADHD, but anytime I got a Lego set

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and also because maybe the first couple of Lego sets I got were hammy down, so not all

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the pieces were there.

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I never built the thing that you were supposed to build.

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I was always just freestyling.

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But when it comes to a regular sauce puzzle, it is, oh my God, the beginning of the quarantine

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lockdown of the pandemic.

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And I ordered a whole bunch of puzzles and really, really did damage to my eyes because

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there's no, there are no good lights in this house.

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Everything for some reason is like half as bright as you would want it to be.

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It's very atmospheric and yeah, that's a real, it's a real bummer.

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Did you end up getting a headlamp?

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Yes.

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But there was a problem because the reflection from the headlamp was too strong.

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So I'd have to look at the puzzles from like an angle and I had to like angle the headlamp.

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It was like a whole thing.

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I don't know.

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Maybe it was good that I was so hyper-focused on something besides being stuck indoors for

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the months and then not being around another human being for six months.

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Those are dark days.

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Yeah, it was.

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Although at first my little introverted self was like, I don't have to go outside.

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It's amazing.

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This is the best.

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But then I didn't realize how much incidental touch was important to me.

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I think I just, I don't know if I actually took a quiz or whatever, but you know, the

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love language quiz or situation that's been going around.

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And not only is it quality time, but it was absolutely physical touch.

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And so to go, I think it was a full six months without touching another human being.

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Like I think my mom and my sister, we were all up at the farm and I needed to have a

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human hug.

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So I brought sheets because we still didn't super know how this thing was being transmitted.

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I think we were still wiping off groceries.

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And so we put full sheets over our faces and bodies and then hugged through the sheets.

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I can't even tell you it was the best.

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But I felt immediately guilty because I was like, great.

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Now I've killed my mom and my sister.

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Even though again, I was so isolated that there was no incidental contact with other

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human beings.

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So where did I get COVID from?

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It would have had to have come through the internet.

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Oh yeah.

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I thought the same thing too.

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When visiting my dad, yeah, it was one of those things where it's like, give him a hug

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and then, oh, if he gets COVID, I just killed him.

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Yeah.

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A little fixation, little rumination.

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Yep.

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Okay.

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Well, we were talking about stuff previous to the podcast because we're friends outside

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of the podcast.

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Jealous.

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One of the ways that you can tell if something is OCD is if you're ashamed to tell other

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people about it.

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Yes.

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Yes, very much so.

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One of the best things about being in an OCD group was finding out that all of us had had

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OCD since we were children and kept it to ourselves and did our little rituals and our

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compulsions and really tried to make it so that nobody else noticed.

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And we would never tell anybody because I think the worst fear is being rejected, but

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also the first fear was being called weird.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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You too?

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Yeah.

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I feel that too.

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Yeah, because that's the whole learning to mask.

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I recently saw something, and I don't know if this is true or not because I'm not a medical

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professional, but for example, I was called high functioning OCD even though I was also

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told that that is not a medical term.

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And it was because high functioning means good at masking.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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And I didn't know that until recently that you have OCD or that you have a problem.

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And yes, as a child being told by a parent, don't do that because that's weird or nobody

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does that.

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Or when you're asking a question about something that you're just trying to get clarification

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on, they're like, nobody thinks that way.

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And so I kept a lot of my symptoms to myself.

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And I think that's why there is a designation of Pure O, right?

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Because it's not truly Pure O, right?

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Because that's just a term because you can't see it.

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But that almost my compulsions are in my head.

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Yes.

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So Pure O stands for pure obsession, I believe.

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And for our listeners, it's where most of your mental compulsions and obsessions and

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intrusive thoughts, shockingly, all happen in your head.

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And there's very little outward representation of the chaos and suffering that is happening

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on the inside.

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Yes.

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Yes.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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I also think Pure O is kind of a misunderstanding too, thinking that you only have obsessions,

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but in truth, you have compulsions as well.

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And that I didn't realize I had so many or I had a few physical compulsions that I didn't

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realize that I was doing.

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And I'm starting to kind of learn a little bit, not to be designated because I don't

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like putting things into buckets so much as thinking that all of it is related and the

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same thing, I guess, if that makes sense.

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But for example, somatic OCD is when you try to control things that are automatic in your

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body, like breathing or blinking and other things like that.

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Or when you're checking within the automatic functions of your body to see if anything's

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wrong because I do that.

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And I didn't realize, I mean, I do realize it, but then I don't.

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You know, I'm starting to become a little bit more self-aware about it.

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That makes sense.

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It does.

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Do you think part of that is because you've been doing it so long?

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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That it's like, for me, it's like if it was something that I started like in childhood,

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I accepted a lot of shit in childhood, not to say like traumatic shit.

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I just mean like, you know, some adult would tell me like, you know, books should always

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be put back, read it so that the title can be read to the left or whatever it is.

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And I would be like, oh, that is a law of the world.

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So when I was younger and if I started doing some kind of compulsion, then I would be like,

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well, this is just me.

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This is just a way of the world.

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You know?

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Yeah.

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And then people call it quirky.

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Yes, exactly.

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You get called weird and you raise your fist and you shake it.

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You're like, if you knew the rules, you would understand that this is the thing you have

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to do.

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Yeah, exactly.

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What are you idiots doing?

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I don't know if I talked about it on the podcast yet, but when I was in elementary school,

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when I would raise my hand to answer a question from the teacher, I made sure that every fourth

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time I raised my hand, I purposefully gave a wrong answer because I thought that was

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the rule that all the other elementary school kids were doing.

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That's awesome.

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Definitely not overthinking.

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No, not at all.

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I honestly thought everybody knew the answer and so I wouldn't raise my hand.

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Yeah.

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That's a good one too.

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How about this?

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Yeah.

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No, and then because I didn't know the answer and I didn't know how other people knew the

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answer so I never raised my hand.

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Whoa.

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I know.

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I wouldn't turn in homework because, as I explained once to my mom, the teacher already

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knows how to do this assignment so why would she need it from a fourth grader's attempt

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to do it?

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As if the teacher was just farming out these problems that she had to solve in her life.

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Oh gosh.

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Boy, howdy.

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I wish I knew what three times four was, but I sure don't so maybe I'll put it out to a

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bunch of fourth graders and see what they come up with.

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Oh my God.

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I had piles of homework that just didn't get turned in.

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I mean a lot of this is also ADHD stuff which is like, I don't know, it got shoved to the

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bottom of my backpack and it ceased to exist.

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Doesn't exist anymore.

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Fell into the hole.

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It doesn't.

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In the black hole.

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Yeah.

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So the teacher's like, where's this assignment?

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And I'm like, we shouldn't talk about that assignment because it doesn't exist anymore.

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And if we talk about it, bad things will happen.

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Anyway, all of this like, yeah.

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Childhood.

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Yeah, so fun.

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Trying to figure out what the rules are.

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Making up rules that are maladaptive to the situation, but holding on to them because

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we came up with them when we were small and we couldn't think about things because our

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prefrontal cortex hadn't fully formed.

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Woo.

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That was amazing.

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Thank you.

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It's a classic childhood rhyme.

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The number thing made me think of some other, now I'm like remembering being a teenager

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and having certain compulsions.

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I got really into photography in high school and started seeing the entire world as if

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through a lens.

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How would I frame this to be a really cool picture?

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And for you young listeners, we did black and white film.

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So you couldn't see immediately what the image looked like.

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I had to take the picture, develop the negatives, put it in larger and develop the photograph,

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stick my hands in chemicals, which was kind of cool.

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And then be like, oh, I really fucked up that photograph or more than likely, God, what

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a genius.

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Look at that photograph.

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But the thing is I wore glasses, as do you, my friend.

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And so I started using the inside curvature of the glass frame that goes against the nose

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as if it was the outer edges of a camera lens so that I would look at things and then I

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would check to see the edge on the right side and then check to see the edge on the left

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side of my glasses.

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No camera in sight.

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So I would just do this all the time.

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And eventually I could not go anywhere, look at anything without doing this over and over

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and over again.

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So then I had to stop doing photography for a while because I was like, this doesn't feel

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good to have this constant urge compulsion.

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It's not great.

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Yeah, that's not great at all.

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That's OK.

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But the thing is, it's like not having the language of OCD, not having that lens, no

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pun intended, to look at things is like, oh, well, I just have to take care of this on

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my own.

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Right.

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You know, this is just something I got myself into.

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I got to get myself out of.

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Right.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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We my art club in high school went on a trip to Europe, which was very cool.

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We went to Paris and we went to Florence and we looked at a bunch of art.

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And my mom was the chaperone and my younger sister got to come along, even though she

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wasn't in high school yet.

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And it was very cool.

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But then my mom, the trip ended and my best friend and I were going to stay and go to

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like Switzerland and like find her ancestors or I don't know what we were going to do.

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We were like 16 and probably making smart choices.

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But I remember like the instant the metro doors closed in Paris after my mom and my

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sister and the rest of the art club got off the subway and then my friend and I were alone

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in a totally foreign country and on our way to Switzerland.

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And I just kind of lost my mind.

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And when we got to Switzerland, I they have cobbled streets.

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I couldn't go down a cobbled street without touching every single cobble.

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Oh, wow.

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And your friend is no longer friends with you.

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Exactly.

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You know, she was amazing.

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Actually, she really took care of me.

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I like I stopped being able to like eat a lot of food.

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And so somehow she would procure like plain noodles with butter from restaurants and stuff.

00:19:05
Oh, no, she's amazing.

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We definitely like supported each other throughout our teenage years.

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And that was really great.

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But I it is amazing to me that I did not get the diagnosis of OCD until I was almost 40

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years old.

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Like that shit.

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Are you are you kidding me?

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But a lot of it, like you said, I kept it in my head.

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I would count my steps all the time.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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I don't know.

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I guess coming back to it, like masking, you know, and knowing what is like, I guess, quote

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unquote normal.

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Yeah, yeah.

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But, you know, normal doesn't really exist.

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Yeah, that's a bucket that has a hole in the bottom.

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It does.

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That has a bunch of rules going through it.

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Yeah, exactly.

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And it turns out everybody's bucket of normal is nonsense.

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You know?

00:20:03
Yeah.

00:20:06
Well, yeah.

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OK.

00:20:14
You know, some of the structure of this podcast is what have you worked on in the last couple

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of weeks?

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With comedy.

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I know.

00:20:22
Do we do comedy?

00:20:23
Yeah, I think we do comedy sometimes.

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I do comedy sometimes.

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One time I did a comedy.

00:20:26
Yeah, yeah.

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I did that one comedy thing that one time.

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Are you asking me or am I asking you?

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Honestly, it could go either way.

00:20:49
OK.

00:20:50
Yeah.

00:20:51
You go.

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Damn it.

00:20:53
OK.

00:20:54
I lost that in the beginning.

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Yay, I lost that invisible Rochambeau that we played inside our heads.

00:21:01
I have not done really anything with comedy, but I do.

00:21:09
I do aqua aerobics with a lot of senior citizens.

00:21:12
I think I've already said on the podcast, I do not teach this class.

00:21:16
I am in with the senior citizens.

00:21:19
So don't make it seem like I'm some good person.

00:21:22
Uh-uh.

00:21:23
I love it because I get to compare myself to 90 year old people and I'm like, I can

00:21:29
do 12 more reps than you motherfucker.

00:21:31
So who's fit now?

00:21:35
But anyway, I made the kind of mistake of telling some of the other participants that

00:21:41
I want to do comedy or that I do comedy.

00:21:44
And so they'll have suggestions.

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And recently, one of them emailed me and it was like a link to a Facebook thing, which

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I'm not really on Facebook.

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Right.

00:21:57
But I was like, OK, what is this?

00:21:59
And it's just it's like an announcement that says that there's going to be stand up at

00:22:05
the local theater, which is a very large theater.

00:22:10
But it doesn't say who's doing the stand up.

00:22:13
It doesn't really show you where you can buy tickets.

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It absolutely is not like an open mic or something that like I could do as a stand up.

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So I was just like, OK, right.

00:22:28
Got it.

00:22:29
Got this link from this email.

00:22:32
OK.

00:22:33
And then I go back to the aqua robics like the next day or whatever.

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And she's like, did you get my email?

00:22:38
Did you get my email?

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And I'm like, yeah, I got it.

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And she's like, so?

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And I'm like, great.

00:22:46
So great.

00:22:48
Thank you so much.

00:22:49
And she's like, yeah, I thought of you.

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And I'm like, uh huh.

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She sold it.

00:22:55
Exactly.

00:22:56
I was like, high fives all around.

00:23:01
Look out, Jerry Seinfeld.

00:23:03
My career.

00:23:04
It was just like, OK, like, cool.

00:23:07
To me, it's like the equivalent of an elderly relative sending you a newspaper clipping.

00:23:13
It's like, what do you want me to do with this?

00:23:15
Do you want me to read it and talk to you about it the next time I see you?

00:23:18
Because I can almost guarantee you have forgotten about this, like, you know, piece on Nevada's

00:23:26
voting history or something like that.

00:23:29
And I don't want to read it.

00:23:32
Anyway, so that was comedy.

00:23:36
But the big thing that I am thinking about is the job, getting the day job, still plugging

00:23:41
away at that, still hating it.

00:23:44
Tutoring has picked up a lot.

00:23:46
So I'm trying to balance this being the season to actually make money and putting aside time

00:23:54
to do the application.

00:23:56
And then on the weekends, I keep going up to the farm and working on the bunkhouse to

00:24:01
get into place.

00:24:02
So I don't know where I'm thinking the time to does matter.

00:24:07
But I am getting more and more excited about putting on a night of comedy where we talk

00:24:13
about our experiences in the health care system.

00:24:17
I'm a little worried that it's just going to be sad and traumatic.

00:24:21
But I'm hoping that if we started off with, you know, I select the people that that it'll,

00:24:30
you know, kind of vacillate.

00:24:31
We'll have some funny highs, some very sad lows, a lot of sharing.

00:24:36
Yeah, that sounds.

00:24:38
Yeah, that sounds great.

00:24:39
Thank you.

00:24:42
So Heather, what's been going on with you?

00:24:48
Well not as much comedy writing.

00:24:51
I think I said this last time before the Ege interview that I was going to work on my short

00:24:59
humor piece and then get that out the door.

00:25:02
I actually focused mostly on podcast stuff only because we're using a different podcasting

00:25:11
host and I've been testing out some stuff.

00:25:14
And so I've been doing a little bit of research on trying to figure out if if I want to stick

00:25:19
to it because we transferred from not paying for podcast hosting to paying for podcasting

00:25:26
hosting.

00:25:27
And I mean, right now we're not paying.

00:25:29
We're on a free trial right now.

00:25:30
But I'm just trying to do a little bit of due diligence and seeing if this is our home

00:25:36
for now or if we just go somewhere else.

00:25:40
And so I know that is super boring to talk about.

00:25:46
And then also editing and figuring out some of our processes to kind of workflow processes

00:25:53
of getting stuff out the door faster and other things.

00:25:56
So that is and all and accessibility of the podcast for having transcriptions and and

00:26:05
potentially getting on to YouTube soon.

00:26:08
Dang.

00:26:09
Yeah.

00:26:10
So I've been working on that.

00:26:12
Wait a minute.

00:26:13
That sounds cool.

00:26:14
Do you want us to have like a video component to this?

00:26:17
We don't have to.

00:26:18
Not that I don't know if I'll cut this part out.

00:26:20
But YouTube, people listen to YouTube.

00:26:28
They allow for RSS feed.

00:26:30
And so they can pick up our podcast and then we can just have it sitting there on YouTube.

00:26:36
And YouTube is like the second largest search engine.

00:26:40
So if we have our SEOs correct, we could be found.

00:26:45
So dude, Heather, you are such a rock star.

00:26:48
And I think I might cut this part out because it's so boring.

00:26:51
But I think it's so fucking cool.

00:26:56
Well, thank you.

00:26:57
But I would like to work.

00:26:59
I do I do have a time frame of which of the time limit, I should say, of how much research

00:27:06
I'm going to do on this.

00:27:08
Yeah, because I could do this forever.

00:27:14
And know that, you know, I can always change later.

00:27:18
So that's just how it goes.

00:27:21
So my plan is to do the short humor piece that I was planning on doing and then submitting

00:27:27
it to a second place.

00:27:30
That's so cool.

00:27:32
Yeah.

00:27:33
Yay.

00:27:34
Yay.

00:27:35
My goal, I think, because I don't know about the comedy night anyway.

00:27:42
But what I want to do and what you have already very generously offered to me multiple times

00:27:49
is I would love to send you the Batshit roommate recording I made with my sister.

00:27:55
And maybe you can work your magic so that the voices sync up so that at the end, it's

00:28:02
not echoes on echoes of delay.

00:28:05
Yeah, sounds good.

00:28:07
OK.

00:28:08
So just a caveat that this is to be like a very low priority for you.

00:28:14
I would much rather that you work on your stuff.

00:28:17
Yeah.

00:28:18
I mean, I could just drop it into audition, see what it looks like and then see if it

00:28:22
just does it automatically.

00:28:24
So yeah.

00:28:26
OK.

00:28:27
Make AI work for you.

00:28:29
I don't know if it's AI.

00:28:30
It's probably just the software.

00:28:34
Yeah, it's just the software that notices that they're not synced.

00:28:39
That's all.

00:28:40
But if there is an actual problem with the file, then that's a whole other thing.

00:28:45
But yeah, I don't think there is.

00:28:48
But who knows?

00:28:50
Yeah.

00:28:51
Sweet.

00:28:52
That's awesome.

00:28:54
So then that means that Gabbie will have one episode done of Batshit Roommate.

00:29:01
Which is only been something I've been thinking about for 15 years at this point.

00:29:10
It's been like 99 years since we first discussed it.

00:29:16
It was back when we first started our other podcast, you know, Ancient Times.

00:29:24
Ancient Times is called Ham Radio.

00:29:31
It was a thorough discussion about President Eisenhower.

00:29:34
I don't know who was president 100 years ago.

00:29:37
Because it would be very cool to get that going.

00:29:40
And then I have other questions that I wanted to...

00:29:42
You can cut this out too.

00:29:43
Yeah.

00:29:44
Because I have other questions because I'm thinking about purchasing different mics,

00:29:49
not for this.

00:29:50
This is fine to have the USB mic, but the other plug kind of mic, like audio one, so

00:29:58
that I can take it with me and interview somebody in person as opposed to like this situation

00:30:06
that happened when I interviewed Miriam for the Batshit.

00:30:09
And we ended up being in two different computers.

00:30:13
Yeah.

00:30:14
Anyway, I'm sure there's lots of different ways to solve it.

00:30:17
Yeah, there are.

00:30:19
People have been interviewed before in the same room.

00:30:23
Not once.

00:30:24
No, I'm going to be the first person to do it to blow everybody's minds.

00:30:32
So should this be the end of the pod?

00:30:34
I think so.

00:30:35
It's kind of a low key pod, but that's okay.

00:30:39
Yeah.

00:30:40
I mean, the last one was so amazing and hyped up and whatever.

00:30:43
I would like us to do maybe some more interviews in the future.

00:30:48
I agree.

00:30:50
I'm sure we know some other OCD types with funniness.

00:30:55
Or ADHD.

00:30:56
I mean, because you have ADHD, so we can do that.

00:30:59
And I could just, you know.

00:31:00
Thank you for noticing.

00:31:01
Yeah.

00:31:02
And then or anxiety, you know.

00:31:04
Yeah.

00:31:05
Or MZD, major depressive disorder.

00:31:09
Listen, listeners, if you have any of those and you want to be interviewed, call in.

00:31:15
I don't know what our number is, but good luck.

00:31:18
Yeah.

00:31:19
Just just call a number and see if it's us.

00:31:24
Just take your phone out.

00:31:26
Start screaming at it.

00:31:28
You can turn it on or not.

00:31:29
You're going to have the same result.

00:31:31
So that's how my mom calls me.

00:31:34
So oh, beautiful.

00:31:39
Yeah.

00:31:41
Well, maybe people can contact us on the Instagram.

00:31:47
Yeah, yeah.

00:31:49
Yeah.

00:31:50
DM us on Instagram.

00:31:52
If you're a comedy person that has ADHD, OCD, anxiety, something that we're not mentioning

00:32:01
and want to be on the pod, just let us know.

00:32:04
Yeah.

00:32:05
Yeah, man.

00:32:06
That would be very cool.

00:32:10
So so.

00:32:14
So.

00:32:15
So.

00:32:16
I think we're done.

00:32:21
Yay.

00:32:22
Bye, everybody.

00:32:25
Bye, everyone.

00:32:33
Welcome to the end of the show.

00:32:35
This is Gabbie Blachman and this is Heather Nye.

00:32:38
Thank you for listening to Comically Exposed.

00:32:41
We are just a little show with two creators who edit and produce each episode.

00:32:46
We appreciate all your support.

00:32:49
If you like what you heard, please follow us on Instagram at Comically Exp.

00:32:53
podcast.

00:32:54
That's comicalyexp.podcast.

00:32:55
Or subscribe to us on Spotify or wherever you listen to podcasts.

00:33:07
New episodes drop every other Wednesday.

00:33:10
So special thanks to Track Club and Gxldxn Fxnch for providing the music.

00:33:15
Thanks for listening.

00:33:16
And hey, everybody, today is a great day to expose yourself.

00:33:20
OK, until next time.

00:33:22
Ta-da for ta-da.

00:33:24
Bye.

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Bye.

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Bye.

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Bye.

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Bye.

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Bye.

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Bye.

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Bye.

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Bye.

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Bye.

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Bye.

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Bye.

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Bye.

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Bye.

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Bye.

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Bye.

00:33:40
Bye.