Episode 29 - Interview with Jeannie Mecorney

00:00:00:10 - 00:00:12:08 Heather Trigger warning. Child abuse and sexual assault are discussed but not described in this episode. [Intro 🎵] 00:00:12:10 - 00:00:24:16 Gabbie Hey everybody, and welcome to Comically Exposed we're on episode 29. I am one of the hosts. My name is Gabbie Blachman and the amazing co-host is. 00:00:24:18 - 00:00:26:04 Heather Heather Nye. 00:00:26:06 - 00:00:53:21 Gabbie Dun dun dun dun. Today is a really special episode for many reasons. One, you're listening to it and you're a very special person and we love you. But two, because my mom is on the episode and her name is Jeannie Mecorney and I happen to love her very much. And also she's very interesting. And not to brag. She has mental stuff to mom. Welcome to. The pod. 00:00:53:23 - 00:01:06:08 Jeannie So happy and honored to be here. This is wonderful. I love your podcast. I tell everybody, of course. I'm your. Mom. 00:01:06:09 - 00:01:18:12 Gabbie You say that, but I don't think, I yeah, I think you are an incredibly supportive parent, and I do very much appreciate that. And I also want to point out that that is not always the case. You know. 00:01:18:13 - 00:01:22:20 Jeannie Oh, the parents aren't supporting. No. Oh, really? 00:01:22:20 - 00:01:37:13 Gabbie Yeah. Which we can get into as well, because maybe we'll talk about your parents, and how you grew up. Mom. You're just saying. 00:01:37:16 - 00:01:40:00 Jeannie Yeah. Yeah, yeah. 00:01:40:02 - 00:01:48:17 Heather Yeah. Do you want to. Do you want to introduce your mom in terms of, like, her, what she does, and now. 00:01:48:19 - 00:03:24:19 Gabbie All she is is a my mom. That's all you need. That's the whole reason. No, I probably should have brought up your bio, so I'm just going to wing it. My mom, Jeannie Mecorney, is brilliant. Creative. So talented as an artist and has been my whole life. So I assume her whole life as well. Some of the things that she's done is, She created a character, Deedee, who was sort of an alter ego. We can get into that. But she made a ton of, like, comics and greeting cards, all throughout the 80s. And I think a bit into the 70s and even the 90s. And now she does, something called Chicken Scratch, which I highly recommend everybody check out on Instagram. To me, it's this interesting amalgam of your incredibly deep understanding of art history, as well as like the current zeitgeist, as well as politics as well as whatever is, excuse me, just making you giggle at the moment. And, I remember when you came up with chicken scratch, you just said that you wanted to do more things that bring you joy, and drawing chickens brings you joy. I really love you've been a graphic designer. You've been a professor. You've been what else? What am I, missing? 00:03:24:21 - 00:06:29:22 Jeannie Sometimes that I worked in television. In, educational TV, which was a blast. But yeah, definitely graphic design, you know, putting the old roof over the head and, food on the table kind of thing. Yeah, yeah. So that was, that was a large part of it. But, I definitely, from a very young age, wanted to draw and was actually, I had this thought as a child that I would, I would, work for, Disney and make a ton of money. And then I grew up and realized he, like, paid his his people, his, animators and cartoonists, like, $0.20 an hour. So it wasn't probably. Could have been. Do something that would that would happen. And, you know, it is a little bit more difficult to to have that job as a, as a, an artist, but as a graphic designer, you know, you can you can do that. So, that's what I did. I worked for, colleges and, non-profits. And that was, that was actually it's been very recently that I finally told myself that I actually did, work as an artist my whole life, which, you know, I never really thought that I did that. I thought that I, I don't know, I thought that I worked in a cubicle. I don't know what I thought, or, you know, I don't know, as a secretary or something, but I didn't I, I did work in art, and that was really that's been really helpful. To me as, as an adult and, as an adult who. Well, I retired in 2010, and that's when I decided, to take back the blank piece of paper for myself instead of for clients or for, students, which I loved both of those things. But, it's been really, wonderful, being able to, take that blank piece of paper and do what I want with it, which right now is chickens and the advice from chickens and, that's just been a, a really wonderful thing to connect to my little five year old self, that now I'm doing comics. And thank goodness, retirement. Because, I'm able to have a roof over my head and not have to sell them that much. So it's been it's been a really great, experience. So that's my happiness. 00:06:30:00 - 00:06:30:22 Gabbie End of pod. 00:06:30:23 - 00:06:31:04 Heather Yeah. 00:06:31:04 - 00:06:35:19 Gabbie That's it. We did it. Everybody's happy. Yeah. 00:06:35:21 - 00:06:36:08 Heather Bye. 00:06:36:09 - 00:06:47:11 Gabbie Do do. I also forgot, as did you. You wrote a graphic memoir about your childhood. 00:06:47:12 - 00:08:38:14 Jeannie I'm actually just finishing it or hoping to finish. Finish it. I've, I've gotten a, to a glitch. Glitch and haven't quite, resolved the glitch that I am currently in, after retirement, I could, have an opportunity to look at my childhood, which is something that I've just kind of, put away throughout my life. And I, got into some deep therapy and also, became a member of, 12 step program, which is called, ACA. Oh, my gosh, why why am I blanking. Adult! That's the thing that I was blanking on, oddly enough, because now I've gone back in my childhood. Yes, adult children of, alcoholics and other dysfunctional families. Mine was the other dysfunctional family. And that has been, a wonderful, experience for me to be able to look at what happened in my childhood and, growing up with, a father that was diagnosed with, paranoid schizophrenia in the 1950s and a mom that was pretty codependent. And, Felt that she could save him. And so that is something that has, been passed down. I'm I'm not sure if you've, if either one of you have heard of generational trauma, but. It's an actual thing and. 00:08:38:14 - 00:08:39:13 Gabbie Certainly not. 00:08:39:13 - 00:11:52:09 Jeannie It’s a thing. Yeah. And the coping skills that you create as a child, when you go through trauma and that you use those as an adult and pass them on to your own children. So, that is, that is a part of, my, graphic memoir, that I'm in right now and resolving that I do have, 120 plus pages done. And it's all about the, the trauma that I experienced as as a child. I'm one of four siblings, and we each played a role, typical role of the of the four children of, a hero, a scapegoat, a clown, and the silent child. And oddly enough, and probably can't tell I was the clown. I was the one that would smile like this to my my dad feel better and, and, you know, tell jokes and, and, that kind of thing. So, so I learned, I've just been reading this really great book, actually. It's, I forget the name of it, but I, hopefully in the show notes, we'll be able to put it in there. I know it's, by David Watkins, who's a, psychologist, and it's, he talks about the four F's, which is fight flight, freeze, and fawn. And, we all do that. We all go through, Certain traumas. And even if it's. I mean, life isn't a smooth thing. Everybody has, issues that they have to deal with. And, you can end up becoming stuck. And in one of those, his, his premise is that there is complex PTSD that so many people have gone through. And he he contends that if we worked hard at, dealing with complex PTSD, the DSM, the the diagnostic and mental ills, would become a pamphlet if we could if we could just deal with the complex PTSD. Because all of that happens when you're a baby and when you're a child. And it just gets stuck in there. So, that's been an interesting thing to, to read about. And, and look at in, in terms of my own family and, and the way that I learned to, cope as a, as an adult. So. 00:11:52:11 - 00:12:24:02 Heather When you were describing, your childhood and everybody's role to kind of roll back a little bit, you were you were designating, you know, the silent one, the, the clown. And was that based off of, like those personality traits? Was that based in, in, like a book or like in I'm, I'm just saying, like in terms of roles like, is that like, is this pretty predictable in families that have this type of trauma? 00:12:24:04 - 00:15:03:03 Jeannie Yeah, I think so. I come across that, in a lot of readings and a lot of different therapies and, and I think what it's trying to do is describe the, the coping skills and, the in the 12 step program that I'm part of. And adult child is somebody who uses the strategies to survive as a child in their adult life. And that no longer it no longer is necessary to do it that way. But that is how we, how we behaved and how we survived. Because when you're a baby, I mean, you have no no defenses. You also have very few ways of communicating, and most of it is screaming, which is hard for parents to deal with. And, you know, many parents deal with, with, crying child in ways that the child, feels abandoned or, harmed or frightened or whatever. And, this just seems like as, as a society, we've moved so far away from community and everybody helping in terms of raising children to being that that nuclear family and that whatever happens within a home is nobody else's business. And so we end up with shame and not not letting on to other people what's going on. And I often say, if, if just one person had, told me that what was going on was not normal and was not a good thing, and that I was going to survive it or whatever, I mean, they didn't have to fix it. Just just tell me that it was crazy. That would have helped a whole lot, because I grew up so confused in terms of what was what was real. I've, I've talked with other people that that have had parents that were diagnosed with schizophrenia and, there's this one person and I were laughing about, well, one thing that's really good about it is, you know, anything's possible. I mean, aliens could be talking to you at any moment. I mean, that's possible. Sure. 00:15:03:04 - 00:16:51:08 Jeannie So, and then that's a coping skill is is humor is a coping skill and a distraction. And, dissociation. So it's just, my reason for putting my memoir together is in hopes that, people understand more about, how children learn. And, I remember asking, talking to my mom, and I would ask her about some something that happened and she'd say, oh, wow. I didn't realize she would remember that. Well, it's like we remember. I think we remember in our grandmother and and my grandma, you know, in our grandmother's ovaries, we remember stuff. As we're finding out now. And so, yes, you know, I would remember it, but it's pre-verbal or whatever all of that is. And that makes it difficult for children to cope. And I just would like to get away from the, don't talk, don't tell, and to have resources for, for children. And, that's what I'm hoping my, my book. Will be able to do in, in describing trauma in, in children and some of the things that we need to do to make it better for people. And it's so much better now than it was in the 50s and 60s. I mean, that was a very. A very special time. 00:16:51:10 - 00:16:52:07 Gabbie Yeah. 00:16:52:09 - 00:16:55:05 Jeannie I, for one, don't go back to that old days. 00:16:55:07 - 00:17:04:03 Gabbie I don't. I feel like unfortunately, a bunch of people in our country do. 00:17:04:05 - 00:17:04:14 Jeannie Yes. 00:17:04:14 - 00:17:17:05 Gabbie But anyway, I did want to, just say. And we can erase this part from the pod. But your childhood mom was very violent. 00:17:17:07 - 00:17:19:10 Jeannie Right? Yes. 00:17:19:12 - 00:17:41:12 Gabbie Yeah. Because you did talk about your dad being diagnosed with schizophrenia, but. And you've told me this the most. Schizophrenics are not violent people. But your father happened to be wildly abusive of your mom and you and your siblings, right? 00:17:41:17 - 00:19:22:00 Jeannie Yes. Yes. And it's, It's that that is actually. The journey through drawing my childhood has made me be able to separate schizophrenia from my dad's behavior. I mean, yes, the paranoid, thoughts and and, the fact that he had to cover the television because he was certain someone was watching them, which, as it turns out, today could very well be. But, you we we didn't have the technology. So that's been very important to me because I just grew up absolutely afraid of schizophrenia. I mean, I couldn't even spell it as I was doing my memoir, I just I couldn't spell it. I'd have to look it up every single time. And, and in talking with my siblings, which I'm, I'm really lucky my three siblings and I have a have a really we have really good a really good relationship. And, nobody turned on anybody, which is really wonderful. And, and then talking with my sister, I was talking to her about the memoir and some of the things from our past. And she said she said, you know what, Jeannie? If dad hadn't been paranoid schizophrenic, he would have been an asshole anyway. So that was. I mean, and it's true. 00:19:22:00 - 00:22:04:13 Jeannie And and in my work with my therapist, every once in a while, she'll say, you know, that was kind of that's kind of like patriarchy and some of the bad parts about toxic masculinity. And because he was very violent with my mom, and my older siblings and, our life really revolved around his moods, and I could tell when he would come home when he was still working, when he would come home, I could tell from a look on his face, what kind of night that was going to be. And it's, it's a lot of I I've heard other people say that people who grew up like this have really long antenna, but it's it's really true. I go into a room and I know exactly how many people are there, who you know, who looks nice and who looks like someone. I wouldn't want to get close, whatever. The whole thing is just in there so that I can, be safe. Those kind of things that it's important to let go of so you can live your life as, as an adult and so all of these, you know, the adult children, 12 step and therapy has been really good. And I did a lot of research into adverse childhood experiences, which, California had a, well, still has the surgeon general, which is not not necessarily in all of the states, but we do. And the first one, was somebody that did a Ted talk. And that's what what really started me on looking at my childhood was, the fact that she is, is a real advocate for, adverse childhood experiences that children go through and that it's important for caregivers, especially pediatricians, because that's usually the first place that a baby sees that there's a questionnaire to ask, you know, parents, you know, what the home life is like, which is tricky. It's so tricky because we have this myth that it's, and this belief that it's nobody's business, what's happening in somebody's family. And that's just, you know, not not conducive to healthy children. I don't think so. 00:22:04:15 - 00:22:41:04 Heather Yeah. I think it's hard when, people try to form things into boxes. Because from one perspective, like you know, things could be fine and people could be overreacting about the situation, you know, versus not reacting enough, you know, and only reacting when something horrible happens to somebody. It's, that's a very tricky thing with, you know, like Child Protective Services and, you know, other things like that, you know, and I still don't think we have it right in this country. 00:22:41:04 - 00:22:41:20 Heather We don't. 00:22:41:20 - 00:24:33:23 Jeannie And I think the key is as much as possible for removing shame, the shame of how people are, you know, having a hard time. Or they may be, expressing, symptoms of a mental illness. And then the family is is so they don't want to talk about other they don't want to deal with it or however they're, they're dealing with issues like that, that we have so much shame. I mean, if I, you know, it's the it's the homeless situation where, people have, argued we shame people for not being housed, which is it's crazy. It's it's just it's been it is. And, it's not a I don't know, I wish at this point our, our biggest problem was dealing with homelessness, but right now it's like we're dealing. With, oh my goodness, our attention is away from from moving forward because we're just trying not to slip into the past and, and, or slip into some horrifying reality of, the government at this point. And what, what I would love is that we spent our time and efforts dealing with with shame and helping people and providing resources, which I know there are so many more now. 00:24:34:01 - 00:25:07:17 Jeannie And things have changed so much. I mean, my, my mother told me that the psychiatrist, my father's psychiatrist at, some mental hospital that he was in and out of said, because she was worried about the kids. She said, you know, this is probably not a good thing for the kids to be seeing this kind of thing. And, he said, oh, don't worry about it. Children are resilient. They'll be fine. Let's just worry about your husband stuff. 00:25:07:19 - 00:25:19:04 Gabbie Okay? First of all. Nailed it. That guy nailed it. Second of fucking all and didn’t he also blame. 00:25:19:04 - 00:25:19:21 Jeannie Yes. 00:25:19:23 - 00:25:20:10 Gabbie Grandma Jane. 00:25:20:13 - 00:25:33:10 Jeannie Well, that was that was also the time, where, mothers were blamed. Cold mothers were blamed for, schizophrenia. 00:25:33:12 - 00:25:34:20 Heather Oh, God. 00:25:34:21 - 00:25:43:02 Gabbie Yeah. So his mother was blamed. But then also, I think you told me that Grandma Jane was I was told... 00:25:43:04 - 00:25:48:09 Jeannie A cold, a cold wife. Yes. Cold wife. 00:25:48:11 - 00:25:57:18 Gabbie A cold wife. I think they told her to stop making them angry, which was also useful advice. And not. 00:25:57:18 - 00:26:05:19 Heather That's so terrible. I'm laughing because of terrible is terrible. Awful. 00:26:05:20 - 00:26:32:00 Gabbie Yeah. It's banana boats. And not to bring it serious again, but to throw the Lafayette PD under the bus. But Graham and Jane called the cops, and I think maybe some of your older siblings called the cops a couple of times. And the cops used to bring your mom and you and your siblings back to him. 00:26:32:03 - 00:26:35:09 Heather Oh, jeez. 00:26:35:11 - 00:26:36:23 Gabbie On multiple occasions. 00:26:36:23 - 00:27:12:11 Jeannie Well, they would, Yeah. And I do have a picture of this in my in my memoir, I was looking out the bedroom, my bedroom window, and the cops were taking him away because he had been so violent, and I. I was so confused because I thought, oh, great, now we're going to have a peaceful house. And at the same time, he was my dad. So, you know, I saw these people put them in handcuffs and take them, you know, had, you know, that pushing their the head down to get them in the back kind of thing. 00:27:12:11 - 00:27:12:22 Heather Yeah. 00:27:12:22 - 00:27:55:17 Jeannie And every time I see that on a cop show or whatever it brings back those memories of seeing him being put in the back of it. But he would always come back. And, and, and. Yeah, I don't know if you want to take this part out of the podcast or not, but, my father was sexually abusive with all of us, because his own desires were the most important thing. And he... And. 00:27:55:19 - 00:29:00:12 Gabbie So not to bring it back to me, but. But, I grew up with a very healthy fear of cops, and. And I didn't mean to gloss over. Oh, no. No, mom, if you want to continue on, that. But I just wanted to say so we grew up with a very healthy fear of the cops, and it has taken until you, let Miriam and I, my sister read your graphic memoir and. And I am so grateful that you are a parent who has decided to go to therapy, and you are a parent that really wanted to have very open communication with us and really wanted to make things better, because, again, that's not that's not something that everybody necessarily gets from their parents. And so some of the things that were unpacked were like, well, why, why is a white family in America? 00:29:00:13 - 00:30:19:19 Gabbie Did we grow up being like you? Don't let the cops into your house. You don't talk to the cops. You follow the rules so that you don't have to, like, deal with the cops in any way, shape or form. And it's like, oh, right. That's why. Because when they get involved, things get worse. Which I know is, unfortunately normal experience for a lot of people in America. I would say everybody of my generation in your side of the family, all of our cousins, my cousins, and my sister and I, depression, anxiety, pretty much every single one of us. And it's that generational trauma. And I do think that you and your siblings went out of your way to try and make all of us have very good childhoods. That side of the family is hilarious, by the way. I don't know if it's. Coming across in this podcast, but. Hilarious because humor was used as a way to digest the world and its horrors and its joys, and to to talk about things or not talk about things. And, I definitely had a point when I started talking. But. 00:30:19:21 - 00:30:21:16 Jeannie Was it The police? 00:30:21:16 - 00:30:22:07 Gabbie Yeah. 00:30:22:12 - 00:30:26:19 Jeannie It's where you started. 00:30:26:21 - 00:31:15:13 Gabbie Yeah, ACAB. Anyway, Well, I just wanted to say, like, we can definitely, talk more about this. Your childhood in particular. I'm also very interested in, in talking about how it's affected your mental health. And, what your journey has been. And I'm also interested in, your sort of creative journey, process, projects, all of that jazz. And then. Heather, I don't know if you have idea. I don’t know. I feel like I'm monopolizing this particular podcast. 00:31:15:13 - 00:31:18:17 Heather No. You're you're not. You're not at all. 00:31:18:18 - 00:31:37:08 Jeannie Yeah, I, I, I feel it's really important to give a background of my, my childhood, but as I'm describing it, it's like, oh, God, I'm bringing everybody down. And. Oh. 00:31:37:10 - 00:31:48:13 Heather Yeah. So sorry that you're incredibly rough childhood is bringing the room down. No, that's not how this is not how this podcast works. We we talk about what we talk about. 00:31:48:13 - 00:32:43:04 Jeannie Okay. Okay. Well, one thing I would like to say is that it is different today. There are so many, good things that have happened with, the treatment of, of of mentally health, ill people. But but it's, you know, it's certainly not good enough. But I would like to, to say an experience that I recently had walking the dog as I passed, a house near my, near my house, and there was a man who came out from the backyard and just he was in a rage and he was just screaming. And I think he was screaming at his wife. But I, you know, didn't see the other person. And it just made me stop in my tracks across the street. And I just, I don't know what was going through my head is I have to be here because I don't want anything to happen to the other person or. 00:32:43:05 - 00:33:37:08 Jeannie And yet I didn't even know what who the other person was or what the real story was, but he was just in a in an absolute rage, trying to kick the front door open because it was locked and and I just, there was a woman came out of a house behind me and she she said, oh, those two were always going at it or something like that. And I turned around and I said, that is my childhood. And it was really an, a a good feeling because her face changed and she, you know, changed from making fun of this, to a little bit more understanding. And another man had had driven up to the house and was out talking to the guy, and they were talking back and forth. 00:33:37:12 - 00:34:42:12 Jeannie So I was thinking, okay, all right, so maybe I don't have to be here. And, and I turned to the, to the woman behind me and I said, wow, I wished there was a neighbor like that when I was growing up. You know, another great thing to to think about that things are getting better. Then I decided that, you know, I could leave and, and, continue my walk, and, I just wish that I knew what to do. Well, in the subsequent days, I thought about it and talked about it with people. And I called our local police and I explained the situation. So the sergeant was so kind. It was like a shock to me, so kind and so understanding. And he said, well, there's not much I can do right now. However, if anything like that happens again, call the non-emergency number and tell us that a wellness check needs to happen and we will send somebody out. 00:34:42:14 - 00:35:25:00 Jeannie Well, you know that, just to check on people, you know, in that way of not going in with guns blaring. So I'm just I'm really happy about that. I'm so happy about the the federal 988 number, which is, a great, number. We just need to fund it so that we get people to respond that, I have the background and knowledge of what to do. So things are getting better. So I just didn't want to leave on on this terrible. Oh, my God, things are, So things are better not the way they should be. And... 00:35:25:02 - 00:35:32:21 Heather I just love that you have to take care of everybody on the podcast too. 00:35:32:23 - 00:35:36:05 Gabbie Exactly what I was thinking too. Yes, I... 00:35:36:05 - 00:36:38:04 Jeannie My God, my God. I have to tell you, I have this other group of comics that are, like, all over the the country in the world, and whatever that are just all really good friends. And, and so I read this one comic from somebody that was a sequential, full page, comic, and it was about this little kid that went outside and thought, and it started raining. And so he thought he had to lie down on the grass to keep the grass dry. And it was just it was like, oh my God, I didn't know other people felt like that. Anyway. And of course it ended with it with a hysterical, you know, comic ending. But, but the thing is, it was like describing this, this, this child as someone who needed to take care of the grass, get some poor grass, was going to get wet. Oh, my goodness, there's so. 00:36:38:06 - 00:36:38:16 Gabbie Okay. 00:36:38:16 - 00:36:39:18 Jeannie Yes. 00:36:39:20 - 00:37:20:19 Gabbie First of all, I love that there's an explanation. But second of all, when you lived with Miriam in Pacifica, you guys were looking out on a storm, which happens a lot in Pacifica, cause it’s right on the ocean. And you said to Miriam, as you guys are watching the rain come down. Oh, sometimes I feel so bad for the bushes out there. I just want to take a blanket and put it over the shrubs and Miriam so that she. Looked at you and was just like, what? This is what's supposed to happen to the shrubs? Like what? What are you talking about? 00:37:20:21 - 00:37:26:04 Jeannie Well, it was particularly cold. 00:37:26:06 - 00:37:26:22 Gabbie Yeah. 00:37:27:00 - 00:37:27:19 Heather Mmm hmm. 00:37:27:20 - 00:37:33:23 Gabbie Wait, did you say it was particularly cold or you were particularly cold? So you were going to go take care of other things? 00:37:34:03 - 00:37:35:05 Jeannie It wasn’t a gentle rain. 00:37:35:09 - 00:37:42:10 Gabbie Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And as we all know, shrubs need wool blankets. 00:37:42:10 - 00:37:50:03 Heather Yeah, yeah yeah, yeah. If you, if you see a house, you know, with a bunch of bushes with scarves and sweaters on. 00:37:50:06 - 00:37:50:19 Gabbie Yeah. 00:37:50:19 - 00:37:51:23 Jeannie Good people live there. 00:37:52:02 - 00:37:52:20 Heather You. Definitely know who’s house it is. 00:37:52:20 - 00:38:06:02 Gabbie You'll always be in front of. And I think even Miriam was like. That isn’t gonna to help the plant, like, that's not. No. 00:38:06:04 - 00:38:36:13 Jeannie Okay, well, this. Is what's so wonderful about having two children. Is you guys will turn to me and go. What? I then go, oh, yeah, this. Is kind of crazy. And this, Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's just. Yeah, that's that's fawning. That's definitely a fawn reaction to things. 00:38:36:14 - 00:38:39:17 Gabbie Yeah. Have you heard of the other F, which is Flock? 00:38:39:21 - 00:38:44:08 Jeannie Oh, isn't that a positive one though or is it not. 00:38:44:10 - 00:39:27:02 Gabbie Kind of, but it's like going to find, like others. To be safe kind of thing. So yeah, I can see how it would feel safe, but I are positive. But I also it's kind of like an again, not to go back to your childhood, but when your dad would take a nap and then you and your siblings would all silently just look at each other and know that it was time to pack a few things, grab all of the pets in the house, and quietly get into the car so that your mom could not turn on the engine and let it go down to the end of the street, and then turn on the engine so that you guys could get away. 00:39:27:04 - 00:39:27:13 Jeannie Yeah. 00:39:27:13 - 00:39:30:16 Gabbie You know, trying to find safety and. 00:39:30:17 - 00:39:41:21 Jeannie Yeah, yeah. Well, actually they all have some positive positives. Yeah. Because I mean, if somebody is abusing you fight it's good if you can do that. You know. 00:39:41:22 - 00:40:46:20 Gabbie I mean it's all survival techniques right. That don't you know that may serve you or may just serve you in the moment and yeah, yeah, whatever else. You know, I was going to say that one of the, the generational things that Miriam and I were taught was to not ask for what you want. And instead, try and read the other person and to just work or other people and to work with trying to figure out what they want without them having to say anything. Because in our family, we're all doing it so often that it's like my needs and wants get met because somebody else is putting out their antenna and is picking up on my like, tiny tonal changes or whatever, so that most of my needs and wants get taken care of. Definitely not all because we're not doing clear communication. And then it was interesting to like, come in contact with others. 00:40:46:21 - 00:40:48:11 Jeannie Who take care of themselves. 00:40:48:11 - 00:41:10:04 Gabbie i.e. The general public, who not only take care of themselves, they're just out here asking for what they want, not even what they need. They're just like on a whim. I feel like having this thing. You have it. Can I have it? And I would be like, oh, the food that's in my mouth. Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, I don't need that. 00:41:10:05 - 00:41:30:23 Jeannie Oh my God. Yes. That is that is finding the person in the room who is most needy and helping that person. Yeah, absolutely. That became yeah, that became my, my way or my, my way of living. 00:41:31:05 - 00:41:35:17 Gabbie Well, yeah. It's a way of staying safe to get back to the 4 or 5 F's. 00:41:35:17 - 00:41:36:11 Heather Yeah. 00:41:36:13 - 00:42:05:01 Gabbie And so what's been interesting in like you going to therapy and doing this amazing 12 step and the book and just being like I said, open to us having these kind of. Talks and. It's me being able to be like, hey, what's up with this? Why is it that when somebody is just like, how's it going? I'm like, oh, you need a kidney? You know what I mean. Why is that my next question? 00:42:05:03 - 00:42:05:23 Heather Yeah. 00:42:06:01 - 00:43:53:15 Jeannie Yeah. And that's the, and thank you for, for being open to my talking to you about the things that have affected you are due to my trauma and my way of going around the life and, that have limited you or, have been traumatic for you because there was, a relationship that I had when you were a teenager, and I think Miriam was, an early teenager for four years with a man who was emotionally abusive. And I cannot believe that that I did that. And the times that we've been able to talk about it have been so, helpful, I guess. And the fact that you that you'll talk about it, it is really important to me. I know one time you asked me if I talked to my mom, Grandma Jane, about some of this stuff that went on, and I said, I didn't bring it up. I forget it was something specific, but I said I didn't want to bring it up to her because I didn't want her to feel bad. And that is something that I just don't want my children to feel. I want them, I want you and your sister to talk about it and to tell me how it affected you, which I know it did affect you. 00:43:53:16 - 00:44:42:16 Jeannie And it was I mean, I'm working working with it with especially my therapist, who is teasing it out as to, well, I just saw the most needy person in the room and decided I could fix them like my mom tried to fix my dad. How could I be in that situation again? And I honestly kind of remember thinking that I would do this for my mom's sake to to to let her know that this could be done. And it wasn't a bad thing that she did. It just. And it gets into crazy, crazy stuff. And I hate it. 00:44:42:16 - 00:44:44:09 Gabbie Yeah, I guess so. 00:44:44:11 - 00:44:46:08 Jeannie Yeah. No, no. 00:44:46:08 - 00:44:46:22 Gabbie You can. Sorry. 00:44:46:23 - 00:44:49:13 Jeannie Because I tend to be a little. 00:44:49:15 - 00:45:18:21 Gabbie That's okay. I. I would just say like, I mean, obviously you did it because we repeat childhood patterns and you were trying to right the wrongs of your childhood and literally, you know, to maybe show your mom how she could have righted. That's a word. You know, the how to save a man who is, Yes. Fucking broken. 00:45:18:21 - 00:45:21:19 Jeannie Yes. Yes. Right. And that that's. 00:45:21:19 - 00:45:22:10 Gabbie Yeah. 00:45:22:12 - 00:46:31:09 Heather And then it felt like. And kind of punishing yourself too, in a weird way, like, you know that you're accepting that, you know, maybe this is like how I correct or how I, I don't know what I mean. I'm not going to put words in your mouth, but, it's just it just felt like when I was listening to it, it felt like you were kind of punishing yourself, especially because of things, you know, like, you know, that happened in the past that you can't change. But then you're still actively trying to change, even right now. Actually, I kind of feel it. Not that I'm a therapist or anything, but it's just, I don't know, I'm kind of sensitive to certain things. And so it just feels. Yeah, it just feels like that you're punishing yourself in some way, which is. It's hard because I feel like you're, opening a lot of doors for people that you love to accept themselves, but, you know, using your children, as you mentioned, as a mirror. And them reflecting something that you were like, oh, that's I didn't realize I was doing that, you know, I don't know how you feel about that. Me saying this, I don't know. Now I feel like I want to backtrack a little bit. On this. 00:46:31:09 - 00:46:33:04 Jeannie No, no. Thank you. 00:46:33:10 - 00:46:41:19 Heather Yeah, because I think, I mean, I know Gabbie, and she speaks very highly of you. And. 00:46:41:21 - 00:46:42:22 Jeannie Note to people at home. 00:46:42:22 - 00:46:48:07 Heather Like a bad child, she rolls her eyes. 00:46:48:08 - 00:46:51:02 Gabbie And, like, don't tell her that I love her. Come on. 00:46:51:04 - 00:46:52:22 Jeannie Don't take her off the hook. 00:46:53:00 - 00:47:11:16 Heather I love. I can imagine, like, Gabbie showing up with all of her, like, with all your siblings, and just like. And then she's sitting there and she just looks like she's thirsty. And then there's, like, four glasses of water appear like. 00:47:11:17 - 00:47:15:01 Jeannie And not just water. Some lemonade, some soda. 00:47:15:01 - 00:47:17:01 Heather Yeah. Yeah. Of course. 00:47:17:05 - 00:47:17:12 Gabbie Yeah. 00:47:17:17 - 00:47:18:19 Heather Yeah, yeah. 00:47:18:21 - 00:48:22:22 Gabbie Well, you have to have options. You have no idea what she wants or need because we can't ask her. Yeah, exactly. I've always said that the on our family crest, it should be, like a drawing of somebody who's like, actively taking the shirt off of their back to somebody who is actively refusing a shirt off of their back, who's already fully clothed. With a jacket and, you know. Sweat pants. It's like. Yeah, and it's raining. Yeah, yeah. So a thousand percent, but I like thank you for saying that, Heather, I, I agree, I mean, and Miriam is really good at Miriam is so good at boundaries. And maybe she's not good at boundaries, but just for our family, we're like. Like, Holy shit. How’d she just do that. And all Miriam said is. Yeah, exactly. And all Miriam said is, I don't think I want brussel sprouts right now. And we're like, what! You can do that?! 00:48:23:00 - 00:48:25:05 Gabbie 00:48:25:07 - 00:48:28:15 Jeannie She’s setting a boundary. Oh my gosh. 00:48:28:17 - 00:49:13:10 Gabbie We're like. Write it down. How did you do that? But I do. Think that there's something to it of like, you know, we do tend to, punish ourselves and where I do, I'm not going to put words in your mouth. You know, and part of it I see is, like my OCD, recurrent thoughts of, like, you know, oh, that embarrassing thing that I did 20 years ago that I'm sure everybody's still talking about or, you know, did I hurt that person's feelings? Because all I said was, how are you? I didn't say, how are you? And how is your mother's gangrene on her left toe? Like an asshole. I didn't say that. 00:49:13:16 - 00:49:14:00 Jeannie Oh, yeah. 00:49:14:00 - 00:49:14:21 Gabbie Yeah. 00:49:14:23 - 00:49:16:22 Jeannie Oh, absolutely. Yeah. 00:49:17:00 - 00:49:24:17 Gabbie So do you. Do you feel like. Yeah. Sorry to interrupt, but do you feel like you punish yourself? 00:49:24:19 - 00:49:27:09 Jeannie Gosh, that's interesting. That. 00:49:27:11 - 00:49:28:23 Gabbie For things you can't change. 00:49:28:23 - 00:50:29:09 Jeannie That's interesting because that's kind of that's new because what I'm what I'm dealing with, with my therapist is the shame of it. And how could I have done that? And she keeps, you know, she takes notes. So she knows my, my childhood and says, well, let's just look at this one thing here. And, but, you know, of course I, I respond with, yeah, well, that's not enough. You know, I still shouldn't pass this on to my, I shouldn't, you know, the, the, the, the word should gets in there and, so that it's, it's interesting to think of that I'm punishing myself because that's actually kind of helpful because because I, I can get down on myself for making it about me. 00:50:29:11 - 00:50:32:15 Gabbie Well, that's what. I think we all can on this podcast. 00:50:32:16 - 00:50:36:00 Heather Yeah, yeah. Okay. 00:50:36:02 - 00:52:22:03 Jeannie So it's just it's like, you know, punishing myself just feels like, like too self-indulgent. That and, you know, that that probably is something to try to think about. You know, why? That's my reaction to it. And it it and it may, you know, that is something I want to think about. I, I, I just know that it's the it's the shame of growing up in a shitty situation as a child, looking at it and, and at that age in my 40s, that I didn't know better, that I didn't do better, that I mean, obviously I hadn't gone through the kind of therapy that I've been doing, and I just it just, it feels like a gift to be able to to speak to my, to my daughters. And they know that, I don't want them to say, oh, it's okay. It was fine. It didn't it didn't bother me at all that that is not what I want. And, And I don't want a bit about me. I don't want them to say, oh, mom, it's it's okay. Because it wasn't okay. And, and I think that's that's I think that's the power is to say it wasn't okay. And there isn't any way to go back and change it. It is. And so we deal with it, and I, I am available any time you want to talk about it. 00:52:22:05 - 00:52:25:11 Gabbie That's for you, Heather. So anytime you want to talk. 00:52:25:13 - 00:52:31:15 Jeannie Yes, yes Heather. Yeah. Yeah. 00:52:31:17 - 00:53:04:03 Heather I. I just love how the most, per, the most, not self-centered person is worried about being self-centered. That is always the case. It's like, if it's like when you talk about self-care or self-compassion or other things that just have the word self in it, and all of a sudden it just sounds indulgent. It just sounds like I need permission. I don't need permission to do this because I don't need it. I need to take care of everybody else. But sometimes you just got to take care of yourself too. 00:53:04:06 - 00:53:41:00 Jeannie Well, yes. And it's it's that same with, the, in the airplane where you're, you're told to put the oxygen on your face first before you deal with other people or children or whatever. And I remember hearing that after I had children and I, and I thought, oh my God, how am I going to do that? How am I going to put that on my. Because the and I'll and I immediately and seeing a picture of my child. You. Know trying to gasps. Your your breath and here I am. 00:53:41:02 - 00:53:51:06 Heather Oh oh good intrusive thoughts. Yeah. But the. Oh yeah. Yeah. Oh. So you can say it. You can say it. 00:53:51:08 - 00:54:03:14 Gabbie Mom's luxuriating in the oxygen and she watches the children turn blue. It seems pretty par for the course with you gotta say, mom, is. It seems like your behavior anyway. 00:54:03:16 - 00:54:03:23 Heather But. 00:54:04:04 - 00:54:05:10 Gabbie What are you going to say, Heather? 00:54:05:10 - 00:54:15:06 Heather I was going to say putting the mask on yourself is helpful, because then you're not going to pass out. Yeah. To be able to help others. 00:54:15:06 - 00:55:32:08 Gabbie Yeah, exactly. And then both kids die because you didn't take care of yourself. I know I was talking to, somebody from the summer camp that I worked at, somebody older than me who had two kids. Right. And I remember we were just like, sitting out, sunning someplace. And one of the kids was still, like, a tiny toddler or something like that. And one was a slightly older kid, and she was like, just out of the blue. She said, you know, I've thought about if there's like, a tidal wave or a tsunami. We're in Yosemite, by the way. There's no there's no water coming in any. And, she said, I've thought about it. I would, grab the youngest if I end and use my other hand to get us up for air. And I was like, oh my gosh, like, what's going to happen to your other kid? And she was like, well, the youngest is definitely not going to survive if I don't help that kid. And the, the older one has a chance. And I was like, fascinating. I think my mom would grab both of us and we would all drown. 00:55:32:10 - 00:55:33:08 Gabbie, Heather, Jeannie 00:55:33:09 - 00:56:58:20 Gabbie But I don't have that same feeling anymore. And this is not to gas you up or whatever I do. I do still think that you would sacrifice yourself for both of us in a heartbeat. And sometimes it worries me. But I also do see you putting your mask on so much more. And again, it's been great to see for me because it is like you are showing me that, it's good to take up space and to, I don't know, breathe oxygen and the more, not to switch it to creativity, but the more that you pursue your creative stuff, the more it gives me, not necessarily permission, but it's just representation matters. You know, I see that this is somebody who is, like I said, really brilliant. Who's fucking finally allowing herself to do the creative things that she wants to do and then put it out into the world. I've seen you, like, for people who are watching some of this, somehow we're going to post on YouTube or maybe some stills. 00:56:58:22 - 00:58:26:14 Gabbie There's a lot of, pictures and photos and paintings that are behind my mom's head right now, and a lot of them are hers that she's done. And then, gotten printed on woodblocks or, like chrome or aluminum chunks. And so I've, I've watched you, join, like, art shows and I've watched you try, different mediums and I, I've, I've watched you not only write your graphic memoir, but go to mental health conferences and talk about it and advocate for, you know, children with, negative childhood experiences. And it's been really incredible to watch. And I have to say, all of that has been very deeply moving. But your chickens, more than anything else, Chicken Scratch has just made me only happy. Yeah, there it’s. If you're listening, my mom is holding up a, chicken scratch coaster, which is, she draws herself in these, comics, and she's got a chicken that also shows up. And the chicken she is obviously wearing as a hat, as one does. And it says two chicken hats pass each other on the street. 00:58:26:16 - 00:59:16:04 Jeannie Yeah. Well, first of all, thank you, Gabbie. Thank you. For that. Yeah. And I'm, I am just really enjoying now, you know, having that that white piece of paper for myself now. And the chicken is just so important to me because, as I say, on my, on the little zines that I do, that, the chicken explains the world to me. And it has always been in my head, hasn't always given me perhaps the correct interpretation. And those are the those are the. 00:59:16:08 - 00:59:17:18 Gabbie It is a chicken. 00:59:17:19 - 01:00:42:15 Jeannie Into the comic are the, the chicken view of, of life, which is, you know, a little wacky. And it's it's been very, it's been very cathartic to do it. And right now it's it's very, political. Because I just couldn't do the ones that I was doing before because they just seemed frivolous at the time. But I hope some time to get back to them. After I make fun of, everybody who's in charge right now of, gosh, the, our country and looks like the world, because it's been, it's been it has helped me so much, I, I get comments when I post them that the that they really appreciate them. They appreciate the humor and to have a laugh during the day, which just makes me feel like it's worthwhile and and yeah, and so thank you for for, for telling, for letting me know that, you value what I, what I've been doing and, I just, you know, I'm your biggest fan. 01:00:42:16 - 01:02:06:12 Jeannie And I absolutely support your hilarity, and, and I just love this podcast, and I've. I've told people about it. I was at the, at a trauma conference and the International OCD Foundation was, behind a table, and I went, hey. And I think I told you that, I was talking to her about some of the things I was doing. And then and then I said, my daughter does a podcast, and it's called Comically Exposed. She said, what is it called? And then she said. I know that. And I and she said, what? What is her name? I said, Gabbie Blachman and she said, and Heather, I know that put but this person it's like, I don't know. What position she, she has, but she definitely was important in, the, foundation and the OCD Foundation. And so that was just and that was so wonderful to me. It was like you were there with me at the conference. It was just it's like, this is what we have to do. We have to we have to say something. And we have to do. 01:02:06:14 - 01:02:07:22 Heather Yeah. 01:02:08:00 - 01:02:38:21 Jeannie And we have to use our talents. And the two of you are hilarious and you dig deep and help so much with, with struggles. Yeah. That it's just, it's such, it's such a good thing to do. So much better than, sending spacecraft, into the air that explodes. I'm going to. I'm just going to say it's a lot more worthwhile. 01:02:38:23 - 01:02:45:12 Gabbie Okay, you say that, but Heather and I do have a spacecraft going up on Thursday next week. 01:02:45:14 - 01:02:47:20 Heather And I'm bringing the chainsaw. 01:02:47:22 - 01:03:07:14 Gabbie Yes. That's actually, Yeah. That's how we're going to close the pod today is just all this. It's, it's. Honestly it's. It's great. 01:03:07:16 - 01:03:19:05 Heather Yeah it is hard. Yeah I did it's like during this time I mean I'm not I'm not I'm actually advocating making art whether or not it's political or not, you know, just to keep it up. 01:03:19:07 - 01:03:23:06 Jeannie Yes. It's so important. It is so important. 01:03:23:11 - 01:03:24:04 Heather Yeah. 01:03:24:06 - 01:03:26:16 Jeannie It really is. And it's... 01:03:26:18 - 01:03:28:19 Gabbie And I think it's one. 01:03:28:21 - 01:03:29:20 Heather Yeah, it is. 01:03:29:22 - 01:03:44:09 Gabbie And I do think it's one of those times where people are like, oh, it's got to be a great time for comedy. And it's like, no, it's not. It's only going to be a great time for comedy and art in spite of what's happening. 01:03:44:11 - 01:03:44:20 Heather Yeah. 01:03:45:01 - 01:03:46:14 Jeannie Yeah, I know. 01:03:46:18 - 01:03:47:14 Gabbie Yeah. 01:03:47:16 - 01:04:06:05 Heather Agreed. I know also. I like Chicken Scratch, so I'm a big fan. Oh, I know that. I know that Gabbie said something, and then I was like, I was going to interrupt, but I was like, this is such a beautiful mother daughter moment. That I was... 01:04:06:07 - 01:04:07:12 Gabbie Oh, gross. 01:04:07:13 - 01:04:10:11 Heather Oh, gross? 01:04:10:13 - 01:04:12:08 Gabbie Nobody wants to see those things. 01:04:12:10 - 01:04:22:08 Jeannie Oh how embarrassing. No, I do. I, I see likes. I see. 01:04:22:10 - 01:04:33:21 Gabbie Now this is just a big love fest because then my mom has said to me oh my gosh do you see that like how Heather liked my Chicken Scratches and then might come down. 01:04:33:23 - 01:04:35:20 Heather I'm your daughter. 01:04:35:22 - 01:04:36:17 Gabbie Yeah. Exact. 01:04:36:17 - 01:04:38:18 Heather Forget Miriam. Forget Heather. 01:04:38:18 - 01:04:40:11 Gabbie This guy. Yeah. 01:04:40:13 - 01:04:42:08 Heather All Gabbie. 01:04:42:10 - 01:05:02:06 Gabbie All Gabbie. All the time. But yeah. And Heather and I have also just recently been talking about making a conscious effort to do more comedy and more creative things. Which Heather. 01:05:02:08 - 01:05:04:12 Heather And exposing it comically. Yeah. 01:05:04:14 - 01:05:05:08 Jeannie Yes. 01:05:05:10 - 01:05:07:12 Gabbie Exactly. 01:05:07:14 - 01:05:08:21 Jeannie Yes. 01:05:08:23 - 01:05:14:00 Heather How am I, we're asking me how I'm doing now? 01:05:14:02 - 01:05:19:17 Gabbie I meant to ask you at the top of the episode and then just skipped over it immediately. 01:05:19:19 - 01:05:21:19 Jeannie Yes. So what are you doing? 01:05:21:19 - 01:05:22:23 Heather It’s Jeannie's interview. 01:05:23:01 - 01:05:24:00 Jeannie What are you doing now? 01:05:24:00 - 01:05:28:22 Gabbie Yeah, yeah. So what's up? What's going on? Yeah. Hey. What's up? What are you doing? 01:05:29:03 - 01:06:00:17 Heather I don't know what's going on. No. I've actually been, Didn't realize I was going to talk about myself. I'll talk about it like this much and then be done. Now, I just, picked up, an old, script, outline that I was working on, a few years ago, and I, when I was driving back home yesterday, I came up with an idea. And so then I had to keep saying the idea in my head because I couldn't. 01:06:00:22 - 01:06:01:07 Jeannie Yes. 01:06:01:10 - 01:06:52:00 Heather Write it down because I was on the freeway at. And, and it was finally connecting the dots to things. So last night I wrote, kind of like an idea kind of out with a bunch of, like, points of interest. And I felt like I was kind of blooming, a script. So, really excited about it. Haven't talked about it on the pod before, because I actually started kind of writing it before the podcast started. And then I just kind of remembered something and was kind of connecting dots. And so. Yeah, so I for some odd reason, I don't know, lately I've been feeling, energized, to write and tell stories. So yeah, we'll see what that turns into. How about you, Gabbie? No. 01:06:52:01 - 01:06:52:15 Gabbie Okay. But. 01:06:52:18 - 01:06:53:14 Heather Oh. Oh, you have to talk about me. 01:06:53:15 - 01:06:54:21 Gabbie So exciting. 01:06:54:23 - 01:06:56:21 Jeannie Oh, I have a question. 01:06:56:23 - 01:06:58:04 Gabbie That is so exciting. 01:06:58:04 - 01:07:07:13 Jeannie Heather. Do you have people that you back and forth with scripts? You do? Oh good. 01:07:07:19 - 01:07:25:20 Heather Yes. Yeah, I do, I do, next to our usual, Sunday sketch group, which is divulged into us just chatting about things and occasionally sharing, writing, you know, shout out to Kelsey and Susan. 01:07:25:22 - 01:07:26:07 Gabbie Yeah. Hey, hey. 01:07:26:07 - 01:08:18:07 Heather And, and then there's other people that I have connected with, from other, pilot classes and sketch classes that, occasionally they'll send me work that they're working on and they're like, hey, could you give me notes? And so I think now it's my turn to, like, poke them. And then once I get my, pilot done, I could just start to send it out and get notes. See if this resonates. And. Yeah, but I'm actually excited about it because I feel and I don't know if this is true for you, Jeannie, Or. Gabbie, is that when you're writing something that's semi-autobiographical, if it gets too close to reality, it starts to stop the process. Does that for me at least. Does that happen to either of you? 01:08:18:08 - 01:09:24:06 Jeannie Oh, sure. Absolutely. Because, because you're you're you and you can go in, like, so many different directions and then if you're so into it, or you, you cross over that line where you're just really into, into it, in a way of I don't mean writing and, you know, the flow and all that. I mean, you're physically and and somatically kind of involved in this, that it's like, oh my God, what am I good? What? Wait, because it's suddenly turned on the it's like you're in a mirror or it's turned on you. And then it brings up things like, not even the specifics are embarrassing, but this is embarrassing in general, because we've learned to be embarrassed when the attention is on us. So, yeah, it's a fight. It's a fight. It's a good fight. It's a good fight. You fight it. 01:09:24:08 - 01:09:26:07 Heather Yeah. I'm trying to. 01:09:26:09 - 01:09:30:16 Jeannie So glad you have have a group. That’ great. Yeah. 01:09:30:18 - 01:09:32:07 Heather Me too. 01:09:32:09 - 01:09:35:01 Gabbie Me three. 01:09:35:03 - 01:10:20:12 Gabbie Yeah. I also think when it starts to get too close to your reality, then like all those options that you were saying before, mom of, like, there's so many ways it could go. It's like, well, am I just going to follow it the way I remember it? Because then it's just this one thing. And then for me, I would be like, well, wait, how much fiction is in this? And how much reality do I want to get in this? And then it's then you're off on your own. Little eddy of thoughts that are not necessarily helpful and I think stifle the spark joy because because then it feels to me like there's responsibility. 01:10:20:14 - 01:10:36:23 Heather Yes. Yeah. That's the word that I was looking for. Is that is that responsibility to like the truth, to like. Others that you didn't want to expose, you know, stuff like that. It starts to feel like, ooh, you know, do I want to talk about that? 01:10:37:01 - 01:10:52:05 Gabbie Yes, exactly. Holy shit. That's part of the reason that I haven't done stand up, I think is the responsibility to others that I want to talk about. 01:10:52:07 - 01:10:54:06 Heather And that's your stand up. 01:10:54:08 - 01:11:03:20 Gabbie Yeah. Exactly. That's interesting. I wonder if that's a struggle that a lot of artists come up against. 01:11:03:22 - 01:11:27:13 Jeannie Yes, yes. Especially ones who have tendencies to ruminate on whether they're, they're qualified, whether they're, you know, all of that goes on. Yeah, absolutely. 01:11:27:15 - 01:11:37:16 Gabbie Yeah. Yeah. And whether there are people with let's just say, overactive compassion. 01:11:37:18 - 01:11:39:20 Jeannie Maybe. 01:11:39:22 - 01:12:16:01 Gabbie Some might say too empathetic, some might say a lack of boundaries. A responsibility to everyone else's feelings in the room. Yeah. As opposed to, artists who did not seem to have any problem, taking advantage of people. Right. Your Picasso, that's your Michelangelo's. Your. I mean, I guess we could just say male artist name here. Or a famous one, anyway. 01:12:16:03 - 01:12:21:00 Jeannie Exactly. Yeah. Yeah, it was Picasso. 01:12:21:02 - 01:12:34:06 Gabbie Which I'm sure there are female ones who did that too. Or hopefully, you know, there'll be some females taking non-binary people, just taking other's work and calling it their own. 01:12:34:08 - 01:12:36:01 Jeannie Yeah. 01:12:36:03 - 01:12:38:00 Gabbie May we all have a lack of shame, 01:12:38:02 - 01:12:47:05 Jeannie Right. Exactly. So, Gabbie, what do you do? 01:12:47:07 - 01:12:50:11 Gabbie, Heather, Jeannie 01:12:50:22 - 01:14:48:16 Gabbie I know we all have a scoreboard in our head, and we're all trying to be like, wait. Okay. And then Heather, did she talk enough about her stuff? And then Jeannie, did we get to all the things? And now that Gabbie has, she said, Cool. I would like to be doing more creative things. Heather and I have briefly talked about ways to maybe integrate that into the pod a little bit more, which is exciting. And, I definitely there is something specific that I want to work on, which is I wrote this sketch about, not necessarily online dating, but sexting. When you've matched with somebody on, like, some sort of you haven't met in person, or maybe they had, I don't really remember. The whole point was like, oh, I know those two people who are like, hooking up. And then it's late one night and one and the one person is at home watching TV and just eating junk food and just having a night, and then, like, their crush text messages them. How old am I? Text messages, and says, like, hey, you up and wants to send like sexy photos back and forth. Meanwhile, you know the woman at home is covered in crumbs and hasn't brushed your hair for several days or whatever it is. Anyway, the whole point is it was an amusing sketch and I didn't finish it, and I definitely thought that it could at least be a series of three different sketches. Or that was the feedback I got from, the group with, Heather and Kelsey and Susan, who I love so much. And I, very much appreciate, that I would like to not only finish those three sketches, I would like to shoot them, and I would like to play both parts. 01:14:48:16 - 01:14:49:16 Jeannie Yeah. 01:14:49:18 - 01:14:51:23 Heather I think that sounds great. 01:14:52:01 - 01:14:59:01 Gabbie Yeah, I want to be handsome, man. And I want to be, couch potato lady. 01:14:59:03 - 01:15:02:06 Heather You want it all. 01:15:02:08 - 01:15:06:23 Gabbie Yeah. And then I want to put it up on the internet. 01:15:07:03 - 01:15:08:07 Jeannie Yes, please. 01:15:08:09 - 01:15:10:16 Gabbie, Heather, Jeannie 01:15:10:18 - 01:16:07:05 Gabbie Because I realized, that somebody had asked me like oh you write sketch, you know, do you have any examples. And I sent them some stuff that was filmed from my last comedic partnership, who as we all know, not my favorite. But we were productive and so I, I was able to send them like a sketch or two, and then they were like, oh, this is amazing. Can I put it on my Facebook group? And I was like, no. You cannot, because that was the agreement that my comedy partner and I made was basically like, these are not going to see the light of day because our partnership doesn't exist anymore. And so, you know, that just gets into weird intellectual property or comp, yeah, whatever. How are we going to split all the profits that are going to come rolling in? You know. 01:16:07:07 - 01:16:12:13 Jeannie This was recent, this was recent? 01:16:12:15 - 01:16:13:20 Jeannie What was? 01:16:13:22 - 01:16:17:19 Jeannie Asking to put your sketches on Facebook? 01:16:17:21 - 01:16:46:02 Gabbie Yeah. That was, it was a couple months ago. Somebody that I was seeing. Yeah. Somebody that I was seeing as a part of a Facebook group that was something like white women smugly doing embarrassing shit or something like that. And the sketch was it's called White Woman Wellness, which is. 01:16:46:02 - 01:16:46:15 Heather Oh yeah. 01:16:46:15 - 01:17:17:08 Gabbie We came up. With, And it's about an insurance plan that just deals with white woman nonsense. You know, like crystals to and, you know, to help you knock that. Yeah. Infection right out of your face or whatever. Yeah. It's like the appropriation of other healing modalities that are then warped into a live, laugh, love into a framework. 01:17:17:10 - 01:17:19:00 Jeannie Yeah, exactly. 01:17:19:02 - 01:18:01:09 Gabbie Actually, that's pretty good pitch. But anyway, yeah. So it's just like. It's a shame. I mean, it was cool because he said like this, this sketch would actually get a lot of traction on this Facebook group, and there's like a ton of people there. And like, you know, he said it had the potential to go viral. And I was just like, cool one. You can't promise that to. I don't trust your comedy instincts, dude. And three, like, can't do it because of previous promises. But then it was like, yo, why don't I have stuff other than like 30 seconds of Egor? Yeah. To share with me how. 01:18:01:11 - 01:18:02:18 Gabbie, Heather, Jeannie 01:18:02:20 - 01:18:54:13 Jeannie Yeah. You know, I really appreciate it. And it's really fun when Gabbie and I talk because it's, I love to do comics and Gabbie loves to be a comic. There's this this real crossover. And you know, I was talking to you about, Heather, about having groups. You know, it's so important. And there's this thing that my current group does every Friday night that it's a Friday night, Comics Workshop, and they get a cartoonist to come and talk about their process, whatever. And then and then we do an exercise kind of, you know, like a prompt kind of thing anyway. But this tonight is, the name of it is, Oh, applying improv principles to comics and. 01:18:54:18 - 01:18:55:20 Heather Oh. 01:18:55:22 - 01:19:44:07 Jeannie Yeah, it's what Dana Jeri Maier. Anyway, so I'm really looking forward to it. And, I can, I can send the link to both of you if you're interested in it, but it's it's just so interesting. And fun because sometimes I'll, I'll do a drawing of my chicken and I'll turn to my daughters and say, you know, I, I don't know what this should say. And, you know, and they just boom, they just come up with it. And it's just it's just been a real great collaborative thing. So I have that group too. I have my, my daughter's. Which I feel like I created them so that I would have this group. 01:19:44:09 - 01:19:49:11 Heather Yes. You made the grade literally. 01:19:49:13 - 01:19:50:06 Jeannie I drowned. 01:19:50:06 - 01:19:50:14 Gabbie Yeah. 01:19:50:14 - 01:19:58:09 Jeannie Children that didn't have a sense of humor. They. 01:19:58:11 - 01:19:59:05 Gabbie, Heather, Jeannie 01:19:59:07 - 01:20:15:10 Gabbie And there were ten. There were ten. And now two. Me yeah. Miriam is really good at that stuff. But I was going to say I love that group of yours, mom. And I love the group that you have. We call yourselves Crone’s. 01:20:15:11 - 01:20:36:16 Jeannie Yeah, yeah. Three other ladies are similar ages in our 60s and 70s. It's fabulous. Oh, we have so many such a good time. And it's all around comics also. And so it's just, it's it's so important to have your tribe. I think it's so positive. 01:20:36:18 - 01:20:37:02 Heather Yeah. 01:20:37:02 - 01:20:41:00 Jeannie So positive. 01:20:41:02 - 01:20:42:16 Gabbie And it's all online. 01:20:42:16 - 01:21:01:12 Jeannie Yeah. Well, they’ve been, well you know, Michigan and Vermont and Delaware. I don't, you know, they're wherever and they, you know, give me a lot of grief about California, but that's okay. That's okay. 01:21:01:14 - 01:21:03:21 Gabbie I was going to say their in Delaware. 01:21:03:23 - 01:21:05:06 Heather I know. 01:21:05:08 - 01:21:06:23 Jeannie They’ll both be... 01:21:07:01 - 01:21:07:21 Gabbie Really? 01:21:08:03 - 01:21:15:05 Jeannie They’ve been talking since four in the morning because of course, they're three hours later and I. 01:21:15:07 - 01:21:16:22 Gabbie Right their, text chain starts. 01:21:17:00 - 01:21:30:03 Jeannie Yeah. Like, I have to go back up the text and then, you know, I do have a reply that does really appear. You know, anyway. Oh. Time travel. Anyway. 01:21:30:05 - 01:21:38:14 Gabbie Yeah. Okay. Well, that is a perfect place to end. Oh. Time travel. 01:21:38:16 - 01:21:42:04 Jeannie I think we've covered it. All right. 01:21:42:06 - 01:22:09:02 Gabbie Maybe we’ve, yeah. I just want to say, thank you so much for coming on. Mom. This has been great. I know we talked about a lot of rather heavy stuff, so, I really appreciate you being so vulnerable with our audience. And, our AI overlords. I really am excited for the type of advertisements that you're going to get. 01:22:09:04 - 01:22:09:11 Jeannie Yeah. 01:22:09:14 - 01:22:10:06 Gabbie After this. 01:22:10:06 - 01:22:26:16 Jeannie I'll let you know. I oh, I really I yeah, I get it, I get so much. It's so great to talk to you, you two. It's, you know, even if it wasn't recorded and turned into a podcast. This is a lovely chat. 01:22:26:18 - 01:22:28:15 Heather Ohhh. Thank... 01:22:28:17 - 01:22:32:07 Jeannie And sorry for bringing everybody down. 01:22:32:09 - 01:22:34:14 Heather No, no. Do not say that. 01:22:34:20 - 01:22:54:01 Gabbie Yes, you should apologize. This is not the place for it. And we certainly didn't ask you very specific questions about it. You came in here. Heather and I were having a lovely time. Talking about our favorite president and his musky partner, and. 01:22:54:01 - 01:22:55:09 Jeannie Oh, you mean, Mr. Putz. 01:22:55:14 - 01:23:08:21 Gabbie You just. You ruined it. That's right. My mom is scathing critique, Mr. Butts, you take that Elon Musk, and you think about what you done. 01:23:08:23 - 01:23:10:21 Jeannie Actually it’s with a P. 01:23:10:23 - 01:23:13:01 Gabbie, Heather, Jeannie 01:23:13:03 - 01:23:27:21 Gabbie Oh Mr. Putz I yeah it's Yiddish. Yeah. Yiddish is so good. The onomatopo poetic nature of that. Yeah. Anyway Heather I thought I'd allow you to talk at some point. 01:23:27:23 - 01:23:57:19 Heather No I, I like being kind of mute for a little while. This was purely entertaining for me as well. So my face now hurts because all the laughter. I know, it's like. Cheeks hurt a little bit. No, but I, I learned a lot about Gabbie's mom, and, I do appreciate. Or I should just clean Jeannie, because you do have a name. 01:23:57:20 - 01:24:00:10 Gabbie, Heather, Jeannie 01:24:01:02 - 01:24:36:14 Heather But I do appreciate everything you've said, and, was able to. Because I do think it has nothing to do with whether or not something is high or low. I think it's important to talk about these things, because there could be somebody out there and going, wait, that's that's weird. You know, it's I, Gabbie and I talked about this and I don't think it was ever on air, but we mentioned, like, when you realized you needed glasses, and you would see the world, like, when I was little, I didn't wear glasses, but I didn't know that nobody could see. 01:24:36:16 - 01:24:45:16 Heather Like, I thought everybody couldn't see the whiteboard or the or the chalkboard or whatever. And, I literally tried on my friend's glasses and went. 01:24:45:22 - 01:24:46:21 Jeannie What? 01:24:46:23 - 01:25:25:20 Heather Everything has lines around it, you know? And so it opened my eyes, my perspective. And I think talking about this stuff is important, even if somebody is not directly related to it, that they're like, wait, something's very similar in my situation or what could I do? And I think that's what we try to bring to the table as well. Not just comedy, but also just a place of coming to acceptance or even a place to find help. Because we're not experts. We're just people floating around in our meat bag suits doing stuff that everybody does, you know? And so. 01:25:25:23 - 01:25:26:17 Jeannie Yeah. 01:25:26:19 - 01:25:27:13 Heather That's all we can do. 01:25:27:13 - 01:25:32:13 Jeannie It is all we can do and help, help each other get those glasses on. 01:25:32:15 - 01:25:35:02 Heather Yeah, it's absolutely. 01:25:35:04 - 01:25:42:00 Gabbie Absolutely. And also put them glasses on yourself first. 01:25:42:02 - 01:25:45:17 Heather Because then you can see the other people’s glasses. 01:25:45:19 - 01:25:51:18 Gabbie Then you're not accidentally groping while you're trying to help other people. 01:25:51:23 - 01:25:53:12 Jeannie Yeah. 01:25:53:14 - 01:26:16:12 Gabbie And I yeah. So I want to say thank you. Mom. Thank you, Heather, for having my mom on the podcast. Thank you, audience, for listening to stuff. And I hope everybody has a really great day, including myself. I'm wishing myself a happy day first. Good. I don't mean it, but I'm saying it. 01:26:16:14 - 01:26:18:19 Jeannie Yes. 01:26:18:21 - 01:26:25:14 Gabbie So. Yeah. Thanks, mom. Yeah. Thanks, Heather. Thank you. Gabbie. See us later. 01:26:25:14 - 01:26:26:14 Jeannie Yeah. 01:26:26:16 - 01:26:37:23 Gabbie, Heather, Jeannie Bye. Yeah. Bye. Bye. Bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye. [Outro 🎵] 01:26:38:01 - 01:26:41:00 Gabbie Welcome to the end of the show. This is Gabbie Blachman. 01:26:41:03 - 01:26:42:05 Heather And this is Heather Nye. 01:26:42:07 - 01:26:52:05 Gabbie Thank you for listening to Comically Exposed. We are just a little show with two creators who edit and produce each episode. We appreciate all your support. 01:26:52:06 - 01:27:03:17 Heather If you like what you heard, please follow us on Instagram at ComicallyExp.podcast. That's comicallyexp.podcast. 01:27:03:20 - 01:27:12:07 Gabbie Oh, and check out our website at ComicallyExposed.com. That's one word comicallyexposed.com. 01:27:12:07 - 01:27:16:08 Heather Where you can contact us by text or even leave a voice message. 01:27:16:08 - 01:27:21:21 Gabbie Or subscribe to us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts. 01:27:22:02 - 01:27:26:03 Heather Also, special thanks to Track Club and Gxldxn Fxnch for providing the music. 01:27:26:08 - 01:27:34:03 Gabbie Thanks for listening and hey everybody! Today is a great day to expose yourself. Okay, until next time. 01:27:34:06 - 01:27:35:12 Heather In your face, Miriam.